When the guidance counselors came to talk to us last class, it seemed reality finally hit me- or, more like grabbed me by the collar, stole my lunch money and stood above me as it taunted me and giggled. I'm a senior. A senior. I need to submit college applications this semester. Where did the time go?! I'm not old enough for that! I'm no where near ready to face that independence and responsibility! I still jam to the same boy bands I did when I was five years old! I still watch Pokemon reruns(original only please)! I still ask strangers if I can pet their dog when I'm out walking(....dog was my first word, okay? I love them). I'm still just a little girl. So how do people expect me to go to college, to be a self-sustaining adult? What if I fail and become a hobo? (actually I always kind of wanted to be a carnie so I can fall back on that plan instead of being a hobo I suppose....)
I haven't a clue what I want to do with my life- and even less on how I would go about accomplishing it if I did know. My life is stressful enough trying to deal with school- have to get my creative writing journal pages done, have to study for that anatomy test, have to present that project tomorrow(hope people don't notice that I break out in hives when I present things) and don't forget the English outside reading!- and my personal life( What do I get my friend for her birthday? It's Wednesday...am I staying at my Grandfather's, Mom's, Dad's or Jillian's house tonight?! Why don't I study Korean to understand what these k-pop videos are saying?! Why am I worrying about korean when I have enough trouble with my first language?! When am I going to be able to drive a car without pretty much hyperventilating? I need to work on getting a real job instead of working for my Mother-not my best idea).
All in all, it's within the realm of possibility that I'm..freaking out. Where is Peter Pan when I need him? TAKE ME TO NEVERLAND!
Unrelated Distraction to Stop Mental Breakdown:
I have very little comprehension as to what this music video is saying(and since it lacks a video plot that doesn't help), but the english in it is "Tell the DJ turn it up, and dance a little more," " ....Never end, (yeogin="here in") NEVERLAND," and "...stay forever young," so I keep listening to it. I feel like it applies. I want to have fun and never grow up ♥. Plus I like this band...they're interesting.
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ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that it is both humorous and sensible. How can a bearded lady apply to a serious blog on a teens' future? I don't know, but you make it work. I like how you and I share a fear of what to do next (andaloveforkpop). We spoke of escapism in class one time, and I feel like that song is a form of it. We can share the desire to forget everything else. That's the purpose of any Neverland, I think. We need to find it. Or just U-Kiss. Or U-Kiss' Neverland. The ice is interesting.
ReplyDeleteI love how your posts represent your personality so well. They're bubbly and funny, and overall interesting to read. And, of course, there are always the K-pop references :)
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to not knowing what I wanted to do. I literally had a list of 30 colleges and couldn't narrow it down if my life depended on it. I think we just find our way in this world just by taking it one day at a time. So don't stress out cause senior year is supposed to be a wake up call but fun at the same time. Just find that balance and you won't have to sign up as a carnie anywhere :)
ReplyDeleteI want to go to neverland too! Although i cant really relate to never knowing what to do, i always wanted to e one thing. But i have always considered other things.
ReplyDeleteKEEP CALM LAUREN! Being a Senior is about chillaxing and riding the wave to higher education. Stress will bring you nothing but pain and misery. Trust me. I would know. Just take the college junk one step at a time, and it'll be done before you know it. That doesn't of course mean leave it all until December, but take it slow.
ReplyDeleteI may not understand you and your K-Pop, but if it brings you solace in this transitional period, who am I to besmirch it?